Dangerous Duplicity: THE PREMISES

You don’t just travel to the West to leave your car in a darkened street with the keys in the ignition to commit insurance fraud. You travel to the West, preferably past Costco to explore niche little eateries with less pretention and more ink. You need your passport stamped to enter these suburbs and by passport I mean skin and by stamp I mean tattooed. Though, you don’t need to convert any currency and they even speak your language – Soy Latte.

Satire aside, I do have a deep affection for the West and not only the Vietnamese hub of Footscray but also Kensington where there are cafes lining suburban sidewalks.

The Premises is a deceptively moderately sized cafe, wood panelled and bright with an open kitchen. While you wait you’ll be teased by other people’s meals as they transit from kitchen to mouth – try to keep your hands to yourself. This may even help you to make your decision. The coffee was bang on, but it was the pancakes that completely floored me. And I mean floored. I was in a diabetic comatose state for the rest of the afternoon – the shakes, trembles, you name it. This was a special on the day, but given the crowd’s response I dare say it may feature quite regularly. Pancakes with rhubarb, cinnamon mascarpone, candied pistachios and orange syrup. The pancakes deliciously fluffy and the presentation jaw dropping, which is convenient so you can place these hot cakes in your mouth with little effort.

Other ordered items included the porridge and poached eggs with tomato and labna on sourdough. Who can think straight when there are pancakes on the screen though.

PS If you do choose to commit insurance fraud in this neighborhood, you couldn't have picked a better place to be stranded.